McButteface and Bartholemew Bigboo Poochie got married on December 3rd, Tabathinarina
2018 at 12:00 AM. The wedding took place at Dill Pickles Home for Insane Children.
The wedding ring was a piece of gum. It was a very emotional wedding.
The wedding was the first ever wedding for a pre-teen in recent American history. All the bridesmaids had Hello-Kitty dresses and lipstick by their eyes.
The best men had Transformers Rescue Bots bow-ties, and chocolate mustaches.
The priest was Bartholemew’s grandma.
But at the bachelors party, everyone died of chocolate milk poisoning.
Except the grandma. (EDITOR: Who is in jail on suspicion of murder.)
Showing posts with label Paolo Costea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paolo Costea. Show all posts
Friday, June 21, 2019
GETTING BULLIED by Paolo Costea
I hear all these stories about people getting bullied. I know it’s bad but I never really think
about it. I never really thought about it until I realized that I have been bullied.
All the bullying stories are mostly about kids getting bullied in middle school. It makes
sense, but bullying can happen at any age. Whenever I say this I laugh because I think it
genuinely sounds funny but what I was feeling at the time sucked. I got bullied in preschool.
Physically. This bully would attack me, poke me in the eyes, and grab me by the arms, swing
me by the arms, and throw me to the dirt. It only hurt half the time (he was not a stronk boy).
Although, I mostly thought:
“Why’s he doing this? I just wanna play. What did I ever do to you?”
I grew up in a house with great parents that resented all violence that wasn’t self
defense but I didn’t know how to defend myself back then so I was scared and confused. This
happened a lot. I would be minding my own business and then suddenly, I was in a movie
scene. He would walk up in front of me, look at me, and I’m not kidding about this, with sputter
coming out of his mouth, he would ask me this: “Going somewhere, punk?”
Then he’d try to beat me up. Sometimes I outran him, sometimes I didn’t.
The thing I think about the most is What were the teachers doing, that they couldn’t help
me from getting bullied?
I would be getting bullied at recess. Even if it was only for like 60 seconds, it was
bullying. Were they even ready to be preschool teachers? I didn’t go to a bad preschool, but I’ve
always questioned if the teachers paid attention to what was important. I’m not saying all the
preschool teachers at my school were bad. Some saw and helped, but usually the newer ones
didn’t. Now I think What if they needed more training before they became teachers? What if they
just never WANTED to get involved, worried that they’d mess something up? If you think that’s
bad, they also didn’t know who to blame. One day, the bully told me that it would be funny to
flush Legos down the toilet and that he did it all the time. I tried it. I know you might think that I
should have had more common sense but… I was almost 4. Basically all you want to do at that
time is to be funny and play. Mostly though, I was scared of him getting angry or violent if I didn’t
do it.
The next day, I told my friend about the hilarious thing I’d done. He told on me and I got
in trouble. They asked me why I did it. I said “I don’t know.”
I did know, though. I was scared. To this day, I don’t know why I never told anyone. After
that, whenever the bully came to school, I never felt safe. I had to look out for him if I was
playing with my friends. I thought this would go on forever.
One day, after the bully hadn’t bugged me in a while. I was walking to the carpet to hear
the daily schedule. Just a little innocent Paolo on his way, not bothering anyone. I was minding
my own business, when suddenly BAM!
For a few seconds I was blinded and felt pain in my eye.
I could hear someone say “See that? THAT’S how you poke someone in the eye!”
It was the bully. I couldn’t handle this anymore, I started to swing at him until the nicest
teacher in the school came over and sorted it all out. I realized it was no use not telling what he
had done. So I told her EVERYTHING he’d done. He jaw fell. She immediately contacted my
mom and told her what had happened. That night, when my mom came to pick me up, we didn’t
leave immediately. She asked me
“Is that kid still here.”
I said yes. I expected her to start yelling at him in Spanish, but she just waited. We
waited… and waited...
“Mami, what are we waiting for?” I asked, “Is that the mother of that bully?”
She replied, “Yeah,”
Now, I was even more worried. She was going to start yelling in Spanish at another
adult! I braced myself for what would probably be the scariest thing I’ve ever witnessed, and
then, it didn’t happen. My mom politely greeted her, and they introduced themselves. Ok, I
thought, they might get mad at each other now. Better warn my friends… I expected an
argument to break out between them, and then, the most unexpected thing happened.
“Would you and your son like to a theme park with us, this weekend?” asked my mom.
“Of course! The boys can become friends! I’m so sorry about my son’s behavior.”
There’s no way I’ll become friends with him, I thought.
Soon enough, we were at the theme park. I wasn’t scared that he would hurt me
because both of our moms were there. Our moms were talking and being very nice to each
other while I was silent. I was silent while I got ice cream as well, which wasn’t normal. I would
have shrieked with joy when I heard I was getting ice cream. I just wouldn’t talk to him. Silence.
Then he asked me, “Do you know who Iron-Man is?”
I was surprised at this. I’ve always been a Marvel fan so we started to talk about it. I was
having fun with him and by the time we left, we were great friends. He never bullied me again.
What can you take away from this? It is never okay to bully no matter what form of
bullying it is. Bullying can make people feel sad and alone and we don’t more people than there
already is to get bullied. You can stop bullying by standing up to them, telling a trusted adult, or,
the way I got help doing and may be the hardest way, making a friend.
about it. I never really thought about it until I realized that I have been bullied.
All the bullying stories are mostly about kids getting bullied in middle school. It makes
sense, but bullying can happen at any age. Whenever I say this I laugh because I think it
genuinely sounds funny but what I was feeling at the time sucked. I got bullied in preschool.
Physically. This bully would attack me, poke me in the eyes, and grab me by the arms, swing
me by the arms, and throw me to the dirt. It only hurt half the time (he was not a stronk boy).
Although, I mostly thought:
“Why’s he doing this? I just wanna play. What did I ever do to you?”
I grew up in a house with great parents that resented all violence that wasn’t self
defense but I didn’t know how to defend myself back then so I was scared and confused. This
happened a lot. I would be minding my own business and then suddenly, I was in a movie
scene. He would walk up in front of me, look at me, and I’m not kidding about this, with sputter
coming out of his mouth, he would ask me this: “Going somewhere, punk?”
Then he’d try to beat me up. Sometimes I outran him, sometimes I didn’t.
The thing I think about the most is What were the teachers doing, that they couldn’t help
me from getting bullied?
I would be getting bullied at recess. Even if it was only for like 60 seconds, it was
bullying. Were they even ready to be preschool teachers? I didn’t go to a bad preschool, but I’ve
always questioned if the teachers paid attention to what was important. I’m not saying all the
preschool teachers at my school were bad. Some saw and helped, but usually the newer ones
didn’t. Now I think What if they needed more training before they became teachers? What if they
just never WANTED to get involved, worried that they’d mess something up? If you think that’s
bad, they also didn’t know who to blame. One day, the bully told me that it would be funny to
flush Legos down the toilet and that he did it all the time. I tried it. I know you might think that I
should have had more common sense but… I was almost 4. Basically all you want to do at that
time is to be funny and play. Mostly though, I was scared of him getting angry or violent if I didn’t
do it.
The next day, I told my friend about the hilarious thing I’d done. He told on me and I got
in trouble. They asked me why I did it. I said “I don’t know.”
I did know, though. I was scared. To this day, I don’t know why I never told anyone. After
that, whenever the bully came to school, I never felt safe. I had to look out for him if I was
playing with my friends. I thought this would go on forever.
One day, after the bully hadn’t bugged me in a while. I was walking to the carpet to hear
the daily schedule. Just a little innocent Paolo on his way, not bothering anyone. I was minding
my own business, when suddenly BAM!
For a few seconds I was blinded and felt pain in my eye.
I could hear someone say “See that? THAT’S how you poke someone in the eye!”
It was the bully. I couldn’t handle this anymore, I started to swing at him until the nicest
teacher in the school came over and sorted it all out. I realized it was no use not telling what he
had done. So I told her EVERYTHING he’d done. He jaw fell. She immediately contacted my
mom and told her what had happened. That night, when my mom came to pick me up, we didn’t
leave immediately. She asked me
“Is that kid still here.”
I said yes. I expected her to start yelling at him in Spanish, but she just waited. We
waited… and waited...
“Mami, what are we waiting for?” I asked, “Is that the mother of that bully?”
She replied, “Yeah,”
Now, I was even more worried. She was going to start yelling in Spanish at another
adult! I braced myself for what would probably be the scariest thing I’ve ever witnessed, and
then, it didn’t happen. My mom politely greeted her, and they introduced themselves. Ok, I
thought, they might get mad at each other now. Better warn my friends… I expected an
argument to break out between them, and then, the most unexpected thing happened.
“Would you and your son like to a theme park with us, this weekend?” asked my mom.
“Of course! The boys can become friends! I’m so sorry about my son’s behavior.”
There’s no way I’ll become friends with him, I thought.
Soon enough, we were at the theme park. I wasn’t scared that he would hurt me
because both of our moms were there. Our moms were talking and being very nice to each
other while I was silent. I was silent while I got ice cream as well, which wasn’t normal. I would
have shrieked with joy when I heard I was getting ice cream. I just wouldn’t talk to him. Silence.
Then he asked me, “Do you know who Iron-Man is?”
I was surprised at this. I’ve always been a Marvel fan so we started to talk about it. I was
having fun with him and by the time we left, we were great friends. He never bullied me again.
What can you take away from this? It is never okay to bully no matter what form of
bullying it is. Bullying can make people feel sad and alone and we don’t more people than there
already is to get bullied. You can stop bullying by standing up to them, telling a trusted adult, or,
the way I got help doing and may be the hardest way, making a friend.
Poem by Paolo Costea
All the chefs in the kitchen were up and about,
The customers heard them. They would yell and shout.
They would not stop, though it was not fun.
They would not stop until the job was done.
What’s going on? you sit and wonder.
The chefs just had a kitchen blunder.
You see, the food critique,
Had come to see
If the restaurant’s food was unique.
The chefs had forgotten,
Now, what will they do?
Will they work, will they cook ‘til their brains turn to poo?
“Wait!” said Daniel, the chef with the plan,
Everyone listened, they knew about Dan.
They knew he was smart, and would fix this Kerfloop.
“Why don’t we make him our famous bean soup?”
Everyone liked this,
They liked this indeed.
All to do now, was to cook at top speed.
“Get the sauces and beans! This critique’s review, we need!”
Time was not on their side, time was ticking.
Though, you would not hear these rhymes if they lost to the time.
The chefs followed Daniel’s lead and in terms of time they did succeed.
Out the kitchen, came the waiters with soup.
The chefs were so happy they did a dance with a loop-de-loop.
The soup was set on the table,
The most stable table.
With his spoon, the critique dipped
Then took a sip.
Then everyone’s attention was turned to him.
Silence.
“I love it,” he said,
“I love it a lot!”
A waiter said “Alright!
This will bring our restaurants ratings to a great height!”
He loved it a lot,
Though every other customer in the restaurant did not.
Not at all,
So they left through the hall.
“Where are you going?” asked the waiter to a man with a cane,
But Daniel had already figured it out, yet again.
“I know what went wrong!” he exclaimed,
So the others listened and stopped deciding who to blame.
“We focused so much on this gentleman, here,
And we forgot that everyone else was near!”
“Stop rhyming!” said another chef,
“What is it that you meant to say?”
“That, we focused so much on getting the food of the critique done that we forgot to make the
food of all the other customers!… today.”
The customers heard them. They would yell and shout.
They would not stop, though it was not fun.
They would not stop until the job was done.
What’s going on? you sit and wonder.
The chefs just had a kitchen blunder.
You see, the food critique,
Had come to see
If the restaurant’s food was unique.
The chefs had forgotten,
Now, what will they do?
Will they work, will they cook ‘til their brains turn to poo?
“Wait!” said Daniel, the chef with the plan,
Everyone listened, they knew about Dan.
They knew he was smart, and would fix this Kerfloop.
“Why don’t we make him our famous bean soup?”
Everyone liked this,
They liked this indeed.
All to do now, was to cook at top speed.
“Get the sauces and beans! This critique’s review, we need!”
Time was not on their side, time was ticking.
Though, you would not hear these rhymes if they lost to the time.
The chefs followed Daniel’s lead and in terms of time they did succeed.
Out the kitchen, came the waiters with soup.
The chefs were so happy they did a dance with a loop-de-loop.
The soup was set on the table,
The most stable table.
With his spoon, the critique dipped
Then took a sip.
Then everyone’s attention was turned to him.
Silence.
“I love it,” he said,
“I love it a lot!”
A waiter said “Alright!
This will bring our restaurants ratings to a great height!”
He loved it a lot,
Though every other customer in the restaurant did not.
Not at all,
So they left through the hall.
“Where are you going?” asked the waiter to a man with a cane,
But Daniel had already figured it out, yet again.
“I know what went wrong!” he exclaimed,
So the others listened and stopped deciding who to blame.
“We focused so much on this gentleman, here,
And we forgot that everyone else was near!”
“Stop rhyming!” said another chef,
“What is it that you meant to say?”
“That, we focused so much on getting the food of the critique done that we forgot to make the
food of all the other customers!… today.”
Thursday, June 20, 2019
Twitter Fiction 1 and 2 by Paolo Costea
His arms and legs are rolling pins, his body’s made of pancakes, and his head’s made of
croissants. Here comes Snakman, savior of all bread.
When your team loses a soccer game, which player is to blame? Defense, maybe you? Maybe the ref and the midfield too? No one. Go, have fun!
When your team loses a soccer game, which player is to blame? Defense, maybe you? Maybe the ref and the midfield too? No one. Go, have fun!
Potato Kills Millions by Paolo Costea, Amogh Rajagopal, Jaden Cai
A potato who goes by Rocco was executed on 6/18/2019 for murdering 3945796
people of the city Beijing, China. How did one single potato do this?
Amogh Rajagopal from Youtube/Instagram News Live found out in this interview “ Ok lets start this tremendously sad mass massacre, we have the person who shipped the potatoes to china”.
“Hi, I’m Paolo Lettucehead. I was shipping the crate of potatoes from the United States to
China. The boat had other stuff like tomatoes, cheese, and a special gas that makes animal’s go
rabid. I was just driving when one of the other crew members named Jaden Memrotes, stupidly
thought the gas was reproduction serum and sprayed the potatoes. 98157 potatoes was sprayed
with the rabid gas but only one got seriously affected. 10 minutes later, the potatoes came
to life. All of the potatoes except for the seriously affected one, jumped off the boat and
swam and all got eaten by a whale. At the time, I didn’t know about the seriously affected
one. That little fella’ stayed on the boat.
When I made it to China, I was so worried that they would be mad for having no
potatoes. But then a little animal ran off the boat. Then I saw it. It was a walking potato. It
was alive and angry it began to carnivorously attack all the civilians on the harbor. I had no
phone to call the police. Anyone who did was running for their lives while others were
being eaten. I got as far as I could and a minute later, the police where everywhere. I
thought I was saved, but their guns did nothing. It was terrible. Policemen were being eaten
and I was scared out of my mind. Then I got it. I realized that if the potato was drowned in
water, the gas would wear off. I gathered up my courage and ran to the potato demon at full
speed. I was so close, then he turned around, but I still grabbed him. I ran and ran, ignoring
the pain of the bites”
Amogh: “Wow, what a hero!”
Paolo “I consider myself a willful idiot. So I ran and ran and threw the potato back in
the water. I waited. It was over! The relief I felt!”
Amogh: “There must have been cheering crowd!”
Paolo: “No. Just about 3945796 dead people… At least I saved a few million people.
But right now, I think there is someone else you’d like to interview!”
Amogh: “Who?”
Jaden: *nervously* “Hiii.”
people of the city Beijing, China. How did one single potato do this?
Amogh Rajagopal from Youtube/Instagram News Live found out in this interview “ Ok lets start this tremendously sad mass massacre, we have the person who shipped the potatoes to china”.
“Hi, I’m Paolo Lettucehead. I was shipping the crate of potatoes from the United States to
China. The boat had other stuff like tomatoes, cheese, and a special gas that makes animal’s go
rabid. I was just driving when one of the other crew members named Jaden Memrotes, stupidly
thought the gas was reproduction serum and sprayed the potatoes. 98157 potatoes was sprayed
with the rabid gas but only one got seriously affected. 10 minutes later, the potatoes came
to life. All of the potatoes except for the seriously affected one, jumped off the boat and
swam and all got eaten by a whale. At the time, I didn’t know about the seriously affected
one. That little fella’ stayed on the boat.
When I made it to China, I was so worried that they would be mad for having no
potatoes. But then a little animal ran off the boat. Then I saw it. It was a walking potato. It
was alive and angry it began to carnivorously attack all the civilians on the harbor. I had no
phone to call the police. Anyone who did was running for their lives while others were
being eaten. I got as far as I could and a minute later, the police where everywhere. I
thought I was saved, but their guns did nothing. It was terrible. Policemen were being eaten
and I was scared out of my mind. Then I got it. I realized that if the potato was drowned in
water, the gas would wear off. I gathered up my courage and ran to the potato demon at full
speed. I was so close, then he turned around, but I still grabbed him. I ran and ran, ignoring
the pain of the bites”
Amogh: “Wow, what a hero!”
Paolo “I consider myself a willful idiot. So I ran and ran and threw the potato back in
the water. I waited. It was over! The relief I felt!”
Amogh: “There must have been cheering crowd!”
Paolo: “No. Just about 3945796 dead people… At least I saved a few million people.
But right now, I think there is someone else you’d like to interview!”
Amogh: “Who?”
Jaden: *nervously* “Hiii.”
Monday, June 17, 2019
Cubes by Paolo Costea, Jaden Cai, andAmar Dani
The wind from the fan was very strong.
The wind from him was very strong.
Most of the wind was a fart from Dr. Tose.
The Big wind Knocked down a building
And Killed some people.
You see, Dr. Tose is a massive giant.
And giants got to do their thing.
Doctor Tose was like Communism, he cured your depression, but killed you some other way.
Like all dogs, they love their owners but must annoy them.
And as we all know, giants are descendant of dogs.
Dogs have triangle shaped noses.
And the world is a cube and humans are descendants of cubes and cubes are the most unrealistic shapes and
unrealistic shapes are unaccepting.
And the Wall is a wall (I did not know that)
Giants can break through walls.
So in the end, dogs will destroy cubes.
We went from farts to dogs destroying cubes ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆) .
The wind from him was very strong.
Most of the wind was a fart from Dr. Tose.
The Big wind Knocked down a building
And Killed some people.
You see, Dr. Tose is a massive giant.
And giants got to do their thing.
Doctor Tose was like Communism, he cured your depression, but killed you some other way.
Like all dogs, they love their owners but must annoy them.
And as we all know, giants are descendant of dogs.
Dogs have triangle shaped noses.
And the world is a cube and humans are descendants of cubes and cubes are the most unrealistic shapes and
unrealistic shapes are unaccepting.
And the Wall is a wall (I did not know that)
Giants can break through walls.
So in the end, dogs will destroy cubes.
We went from farts to dogs destroying cubes ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆) .
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